Bienvenidos a Antigua

Keeping up with the quick pace of those walking through the Guatemalan airport turned out to a difficult task, and I felt it was quite obvious that I did not belong. Images of Guatemalan life covered the walls I walked through - bursting colors of local foods, textiles, architecture. It was all so beautiful and all so unfamiliar. It was in this moment that I realized that I had never been this alone in my life.

Traveling by myself has been one of the biggest acts of trust I've had to undertake. Trust that my driver would show up and take me where I need to go. Trust that my host family would feed me and keep me safe. Trust that I could get by only knowing a handful of Spanish phrases for a while. I had no other choice but to trust in a world where I knew nothing. This concept was overwhelming and fascinating as my driver whisked me away from Guatemala City to Antigua. Mountains peaked out from behind walls of trees and lush plant life. Colorful buildings were plastered across the landscape seemingly haphazardly. My eyes were dry from being peeled open for so long, trying to take in everything that was flashing by outside my window.

Toward the end of the drive, I was greeted by stone roads peppered with cafes and artisanal shops, all perfected framed by three impressive volcanos enclosing the town. My driver turned his head to look me in the eye and said, "Emily -- Bienvenidos a Antigua."

Shivers erupted across my whole body. You know that scene in at the end of The Princess Diaries where Joe looks back at Mia Thermopolis and says, "Princess -- Welcome to Genovia," ? It was literally exactly like that. I swear I could almost hear the song "Miracles Happen" playing in the background.

I have just finished my first week of six of language school here in Antigua, Guatemala, and being here is exhausting and exhilarating. In the mornings, I walk to a garden with other language school students where I meet up with my teacher Lucy. For four hours, I sit and talk with Lucy in Spanish, and she introduces me to new grammar rules and vocabulary. Lucy loves to take me on field trips where I can learn Spanish by encountering authentic Guatemalan traditions and experiences. On Friday, we went with a group of students and teachers to a chocolate factory where we learned how to make chocolate the Mayan way (and trust me, every other way should be outlawed.)

I spend the afternoons studying and exploring the city with friends from language school. The students at this school are some of the most interesting people I've ever met - each person comes from a different corner of the world and has a different reason for being there. Some are here to learn Spanish before they study abroad; some need a break from the mundanity of their ordinary lives; some have been backpacking across the world for years. I sometimes feel like a stray kitten among tigers - they walk across the city with such confidence, speaking a second language with ease, and know of the best local places to eat. But they've been happy to adopt a stray Kansan for their adventures, and for that I am very grateful.

At the end of everyday, my brain feels stuffed to the brim, as every moment is a learning experience. It is often difficult to feel connected to my life outside of this place, and it is frustrating when telling others about my life feels more like telling them about a movie scene I saw once. Nothing in my life is the same as before I stepped off that plane, and its hard not to feel like I'm an actress playing a part on a movie set. Perhaps the biggest act of trust I've been challenged to take is the trust that I am here for a reason. Praying the Surrender Novena each night has been a reminder that my identity remains the same regardless of my circumstances. Not being in control is not a weakness, it is an opportunity to hand over my uncertainty to the Lord and leave room for Him to bring about unimaginable blessings. So what if I have no idea what's happening or what's coming next? The Lord has always had better ideas than me anyway.